Braces cost $3,000, cause agonizing pain for two years, chafe the insides of your mouth, require acrobatics to clean, and even after all that you must continue to wear retainers every night for fifty years until you finally reach the sweet, sweet release of dentures, all just to keep your teeth starlet-straight and snaggle-free. Is all that pain and effort and money worth it?

Yep.

“Peaches & Cream” bicolor corn from the farmer’s market. My teeth glided through row after row quicker than a typewriter. It’s not prime corn season yet, but at three husk-covered bundles of milky joy for a dollar, I won’t complain.

Cost of three perfectly eaten ears of sweet corn for breakfast: $3,001.